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"I think one of the best ways to handle the introductions with your kids and someone you expect to be in your life for a long time is to invite them to dinner," says Farnsworth. "It's normal for the parent to feel stressed and for the introductions to feel a bit awkward, but dinner is an important part of the family structure. The date should try to fit in the flow of the family."

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She also advises that during introductions, the new person "shouldn't try too hard or attempt to discipline the children" and notes that sometimes it's nice to bring a gift of something that the kids are interested in, like a package of baseball cards, to break the ice.

"It's not surprising, though, for the kids to reject whatever it is," she cautions.

Going for a bike ride or a walk are also options both Farnsworth and Falzone endorse. "Doing something physical out-of-doors is a great idea for initial introductions, partially because you don't have to look at each other one-on-one," Farnsworth says.

Don't relinquish power

Falzone's advice is to think carefully about what the kids really like, their hobbies and interests, because it is a first date. If a kid likes baseball, though, you don't have to break the bank and go to a Red Sox game, you could go take in the minor league team in Pawtucket or a Cape Cod Baseball League game.

Or you could take children to their favorite casual restaurant or a concert. "Look for something they would enjoy doing," he urges.

Farnsworth would add one caveat to this. "While you certainly want to choose something the kids will like," she says, "you should be the one to choose. Don't give the kids too much power."

You can't always orchestrate things in life, though. Sometimes your child will just wander in to a relationship that's barely begun. That was the case for Alice Weiss, formerly of New Orleans but now living in Brewster.

*cont single mom

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