Welcome to the official blog of The Right One.
-Monday, April 30, 2007-
The # 1 Rule
The # 1 rule when it comes to finding success is having a realistic set of expectations…this goes for men and women…but maybe a little bit more for the men.
Getting Back Into The Game...Dating Tips for Older Men
As a romance coach to thousands of singles across the nation, Paul A. Falzone, CEO of the world’s largest dating service, The Right One and Together Dating, as well as, online dating service eLove.com said, “These men are seeking to date 25 year old supermodels. It’s just unrealistic.”
One of the most important things for guys to remember is that they need to put their best foot forward. Falzone advises, “Take the blinders off. Look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. Do you need to make some improvements?”
He continued, “The biggest problem for older men is that they rarely see themselves in the same light as they appear to others. They may be overweight, sporting shaggy hair, chain smoke or have bad teeth and not think anything of it. To top it off, they may still view themselves as the high school football quarterback they may have once been and behave like teenagers as well. Then they pursue women who are 20 or more years younger. They really need to develop a sense of self-awareness.”
Falzone has written the playbook to help older men get back into the game:
Age is a relative number, and you’re only as old as you feel. Don’t let your appearance go just because you’ve turned 40 or 50. Take care of business. Get that haircut; make an appointment with the dentist; lose the beer belly…Whatever it takes to look your best.
Treat yourself well. This doesn’t mean overindulge in food and wine; it means find a hobby or activity that you like, that is fun and will get you in shape. This is one of the keys to looking younger.
Lose the unrealistic expectations and standards. Older men should do some mental housekeeping and focus on who they are in the present time and behave appropriately.
They should look for women around their age, or at least within 10 years of their age. Nowadays, many women in their 50s look 35 to 40 years old.
Determine whether you want a trophy gal or someone with whom you can really spend quality time. Conversation will be much more lively (and last longer than two minutes) with someone your own age. Older women will be able to share the same experiences and will probably have a lot more in common.
It’s no secret that women adore older men in their 40s or 50s who are super handsome and successful. But what if you’re an average guy without a great investment portfolio? Maybe divorced and paying alimony? And, instead of that sports car or Mercedes, you’re driving an affordable family sedan?
Falzone adds, “Women enjoy dating successful men, but they are also realistic; they know it’s not everything. Older men should concentrate on presenting their best self and having realistic expectations if they want to get off the bench.”
-Monday, April 23, 2007-
ARE YOU KIDDING...$100K FOR A DATE !!
Joining a dating service is as common as hiring a real estate broker to sell your house or using a headhunter to find a job. But, let’s be realistic, paying 100K to find your significant other is outlandish. The below article is a little long but is fascinating and perplexing…100K ???
For love and money
By Bella English, Globe Staff
Divorced Boston businessman in late 40s with beautiful home and lots of dough seeks single woman, mid to late 30s, for marriage and babies. Must be thin and possess classic good looks. He's a warm and cuddly guy who enjoys golf, sailing, and tennis. If interested, call his matchmaker at 212-987-1582.
That number belongs to Janis Spindel of Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking, emphasis on the serious. She's a woman on a mission: To find a wife for a client she calls "Jeremy," a Boston man who has hired her for $100,000.
The concept is familiar to viewers who have seen reality shows such as "The Bachelor": Wealthy man gets help finding soul mate, roster of women compete for his affections. But in this case, the rich guy is paying a princely sum, sort of like a company using a headhunter to find its next CEO.
In the 15 years she has been in the matchmaking business, Spindel claims responsibility for 760 marriages and "massive thousands in committed relationships." She speaks in hyperbole and italics, and tends to repeat her words for dramatic effect. "I'm dealing with gorgeous men -- gorgeous! -- who have it all, from billionaires in Bel Air to humongous movers and shakers in Washington to awesome guys in Boston. The only piece missing is a woman, and that's when they come to me."
Be very clear: This isn't about hooking up. It's about settling down. Nothing drives Spindel crazier than being called a dating service. "I am a matchmaker," she says. "A man can get dates on his own. I'm a little too expensive for that. And I don't deal with trophy wives. I'm looking to match soul mates."
Despite having had thousands of clients, Spindel says the closest she's come to failure are two men who took a dozen introductions each before they finally met their matches. "I have had men who didn't get married but are living with a woman or have had mini-relationships but not marriage," she says. Besides, there's only so much even the best matchmaker can do: "I can bring the horse to water but I can't make him drink if he wants Diet Coke." Usually by the third to sixth introduction, she says, the man is in a committed relationship, a process that can take anywhere from three weeks to eight months.
There is little Spindel won't do for love. In restaurants she'll bolt after an attractive woman headed for the bathroom. She has nabbed strangers on the street, in lobbies, elevators, and bars. Her first question is always the same: Are you single?
"I leave no stone unturned in finding a marriage match. I'm very New York, very Type A, very 24/7, a multitasker. I'm relentless, tenacious, and obnoxious," says Spindel, whose words fire fast and clipped, with a hint of Jersey to them. She calls matchmaking "the second oldest profession" and says she is a firm believer in marriage. Her parents recently celebrated their 65th anniversary, and she met her own husband 25 years ago. "Marriage is wonderful if you're married to the right person," says Spindel, who is 50.
In fact, she wrote a book about it: "Get Serious About Getting Married: 365 Proven Ways to Find Love in Less Than a Year." Though the book is for women, Spindel's business is geared toward men. "Women are too high maintenance," she says. "They're needy. They're nagging." As if on cue, her phone rings. She gets rid of the caller in a New York second.
"See what I mean? That was a woman I just met for coffee this morning."
Women pay $1,000 for a 30-minute consultation with her, or $500 to see one of her assistants. She'll waive the fee if you bring in five "attractive" girlfriends for a group consult. The women then enter her database of potential wives.
Pretty in red and pink
This labor of love operates out of a sunny studio apartment on Manhattan's upper east side, next to another apartment she shares with her husband, Allen, who teaches physical education and martial arts. They have two daughters, ages 21 and 8.
The studio is done in pinks and reds. There are heart-shape candles, frames and paper weights, Cupid napkins and books with titles like "Being Committed" and "Make Up, Don't Break Up." On a recent afternoon, candles are lit, giving off a vanilla scent. Disco, her frisky Shih Tzu , sports tiny red-and-pink ribbons on her ears.
Spindel is meticulously turned out in a black-and-white Chanel pantsuit, her naturally curly hair freshly blown out. "Men like long, straight hair," she says. And she's constantly going on breakfast, lunch, and dinner "dates" with her clients, to see how they act. The man must pick the restaurant and pay for the meal, over which he will be grilled like the rib eye on the menu. Spindel also notes how the men treat her: their manners, their sophistication -- or lack thereof. "I need to know they're a man with a plan," she says.
Her own plan includes various levels, from a $25,000 "basic" package that Spindel says takes her "five minutes" to match from her database of women to a $100,000 "elite" plan consisting of an out-of-town client and a casting call that can involve hundreds of women. Spindel has already met with Jeremy several times and sent him to an image consultant, who took him to Bergdorf Goodman, where he dropped $10,000 on clothes.
Now Jeremy is ready for the next step: the match. The woman must be from the Boston or Providence areas. ("He lives in Boston in a sick, awesome house," Spindel says. "Totally awesome.") The bachelorette search, as she calls it, will take place April 13-15 in a conference room at the Boston Marriott Copley Place; only those who made appointments with Spindel beforehand will be allowed in.
But the star of the show, Jeremy, will be nowhere in sight. Like her other clients, he won't be identified for an obvious reason: He doesn't want anyone to know he has resorted to this. "He would break out in hives, sweat, and bumps big time if people knew," she says.
Spindel's clients insist on anonymity. "He's funny, he's totally down to earth, he has the most magnificent home. He's a-DOR-able," she says, stressing the middle syllable. "He's a pretty public guy, big time in Boston. Everyone would know who he is."
So if he's so a-DOR-able -- not to mention rich -- why does he have to pay big bucks to find a woman? Is he a loser? Desperate?
Spindel shoots a killer look. "First of all, if he's a loser, I wouldn't be sitting across the table from him. And if he's desperate, I wouldn't be involved."
No, it's all about time, she says. These captains of industry are too busy to meet Ms. Right, so they hire her to screen candidates. Everyone outsources everything these days -- why not love?
"Men don't have the avenues to meet the women I meet," she says. "Men are intimidated by pretty women. They have a fear of rejection. I act as their legs, their eyes. I don't care how rich men are and how many billion-dollar companies they run. When it comes to their social lives, they're running to me. It's not that they're stupid. They're just clueless."
What do men want?
The women who want to meet Jeremy must go through a process similar to the one he went through. There's a phone interview, a written questionnaire, and photographs to submit. A candidate will learn more about Jeremy when and if Spindel thinks that person may be right for him.
Appointments at the Marriott audition will be made by Spindel and her assistants, who will meet each woman in 30-minute sessions and size her up. Each one pays a "processing fee" of $50, which includes a copy of Spindel's book.
She can be hard-nosed in rejecting women who, as she puts it, "don't take care of themselves." She adds: "Fat is out. We're not in Kansas or Iowa or Nebraska. We're in major metropolitan cities where people care about looks."
So what do men want? Is it all about looks? Are they that superficial?
Yes, says Spindel, they are.
"Men want perfection," she says. "They want women who are attractive, who are well-groomed, natural looking."
And thin. "Men have an allergy to fat. I don't care if they're short and bald with a belly. Women are much more open. They value intelligence, a sense of humor, and character." For her men, intellectual stimulation has been "really heavy duty" only in the past five years.
At the end of the Boston search, she'll compile a file on each woman and place them in three categories: A Strong Yes, Your Call, and No Way Jose. Together, she and Jeremy will choose a handful to call. She insists on follow-up phone debriefings after each date -- from the man and the woman -- and has been known to force reluctant clients on subsequent dates if she has a "sixth sense" about the match.
"If I have a woman in mind that he didn't pick, I'll say, 'Whoa, you need to meet her. This is the one you're going to marry.' If Jeremy says he had a nice time but he doesn't know if there's chemistry I say, 'Guess what? You're going out again.' "
At the moment, she says, she has two other Boston clients, who are 54 and 59, and she'll keep an eye out for wives for them, too, during the Marriott screening. Her message to local women: "If you're awesome, you better get your little tushy down to meet me."
True love bonus
Love has been very, very good to Spindel, who wears designer clothes and expensive jewelry, travels first class, and owns a house in the Hamptons. She wants her clients to marry not just because she believes in true love but also because she gets a bonus when they do. It's right there in her contract. Such gifts, she says, have ranged from $25,000 to a pink diamond from Harry Winston "like the one Ben gave Jen."
As for Jeremy, wife or no wife, he has already promised Spindel's family a first-class Christmas vacation anywhere in the world. She says that's a great deal for him. "He got away cheap -- for REAL!" she writes in a follow-up e-mail after the interview.
But one thing she has never gotten from a grateful client is an invitation to a wedding. She's hurt, but she understands. "Men are embarrassed by the fact they have to pay me."
-Thursday, April 12, 2007-
Off-line Dating vs. Online Dating
We're always preaching the benefits of old fashioned matchmaking compared to online dating …don’t just take our word for it…check out the article below from the San Jose Mercury News (By Elise Ackerman).
Engage.com is founded on the premise that online dating needs to be more like offline dating.
Rather than dates, its 200,000-plus members are encouraged to seek out matchmakers who have volunteered to act as digital yentas for single friends and even strangers.
The site's old-fashioned approach to courtship is one answer to the deep disappointment reported by large numbers of online daters.
In 2005, when Engage first launched, a survey by JupiterResearch found that only one in three online daters reported being "somewhat satisfied." Within two years, the research firm reported that the percent of Internet users who said they had browsed an online dating site had fallen by half - from 21 percent to 10 percent.
For some, it was the humiliation of sending dozens of carefully crafted e-mails to prospective partners and getting no reply. For others, particularly younger women, it was the dismay of opening an inbox full of inappropriate overtures from guys they considered too old or too sleazy.
For thousands of gullible lonely hearts, it was the pain of being scammed by con artists who traded tender e-mails for cashiers' checks and then disappeared.
"What we bring is a model that is more in keeping with what works offline," said Joelle Kaufman, vice president of experience at Engage, which is headquartered in San Mateo. "We don't go to bars and scan people's profiles, or take tests and expect someone to land on our doorstep. What we do is we go out with our friends."
People who sign up for Engage, which is free but might charge in the future, can identify themselves as daters, or matchmakers, or both. They are encouraged to invite friends to join and to vouch for them.
That's how Jason Daters, a happily married 35-year-old "sales guy" from San Francisco, ended up as a member of Engage. He invited all his single friends and has successfully found girlfriends for two of them.
Not surprisingly, his wife was more than a bit curious about what her husband was doing on a dating site, but in the end she ended up joining, too. The couple have since discovered that their vision of the perfect woman is decidedly different, Daters added.
Mark Brooks, editor of
Onlinepersonalswatch.com and an Internet dating consultant, said Engage addresses one weakness of the most popular dating sites, Yahoo Personals or Match.com, specifically the ability to involve one's friends in a budding romance.
Brooks said the chance of hooking up with a friend of a friend of a friend is one of the keys to the success of social networking sites like My-Space or Facebook. "The social networks are really the place where it is really happening," Brooks explained. One reason is because people can avoid the awkwardness of actually declaring they are single, but don't want to be.
Engage, on the other hand, allows fewer face-saving excuses. Indeed, some of Engage's features are specifically designed to turn off would-be "players" who populate other sites. For example, Engage encourages its members to rate one another on "responsiveness," "politeness" and whether a person is "true" to his or her profile.
"I love what they are doing, but it's going to take them awhile to be successful," Brooks said.
For singles who have been burned, however, the ratings are one way of making the site safer. Diane Green, a moderator at RomanceScams, a Yahoo group for deceived daters, said only two scammers have been reported operating on Engage, out of 4,000 scam reports in the group's database.
Vineet Buch, 35, a Silicon Valley venture capitalist who is generally not averse to risk, said the additional information and the participation of the matchmakers made the site feel warmer and fuzzier. "The world moves so fast nowadays that even a little shred of shared context goes a long way," he said. Buch said he recently met a woman that he really liked after being set up by a mutual acquaintance who was a matchmaker on the site.
Dimple Sahni, 34, a New York venture capitalist, also recently met someone she likes, through a random matchmaker who came across her profile and decided to introduce Sahni to a handsome 36-year-old technology entrepreneur.
But others who have tried Engage say they have encountered the same black-hole-style brush-off that has driven daters away from other sites.
Mike Murrow, a 33-year-old from Felton, has been chronicling his misadventures in online dating on his blog, "Contrary to Conventional Wisdom."
Murrow said Engage's matchmaker process sounded good but required friends who were extremely committed. "My friends have their own lives; they are not going to scan through the profiles."
Still, they did recommend him to a few women on Engage. The women didn't reply. Murrow believes the reason is that his pictures were crummy.
Murrow is now looking for love in more traditional places. "I keep coming back to women I already know," he said. Like a friend of a friend, who attends the same church.
His conclusion: The best kind of online dating is offline dating. No profiles. No pictures. No Internet connection required.
-Thursday, April 5, 2007-
Dangers of Online Dating
LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas (Reuters) - A fugitive wanted for a double homicide in Arkansas was arrested on the weekend in Wisconsin after he posted his name, picture and address on an online dating Web site, police said on Monday.
Calvin A. Bennett, 26, has been charged with two counts of murder in the killings of Pierce Odell, 79, and his wife, Mary, 78, who were found shot to death on October 30 outside their home in Nashville, Arkansas, about 125 miles southwest of the state capital Little Rock.
“He was taken into custody shortly before noon on Sunday, less than 12 hours after his picture was broadcast on (the television show) ‘America’s Most Wanted,’” said Bill Sadler, a spokesman for the Arkansas State Police.
Sadler said that people who had first seen his picture on the dating site had subsequently seen it on the popular television program.
On Monday Bennett was ordered held without bond in Wisconsin pending an extradition hearing on December 19. An affidavit submitted by the authorities said Bennett had confessed to killing the Odells during a botched burglary.
One of the messages on Bennett’s Web posting said he “liked to cuddle.”
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-Monday, April 30, 2007-
The # 1 Rule
The # 1 rule when it comes to finding success is having a realistic set of expectations…this goes for men and women…but maybe a little bit more for the men.
Getting Back Into The Game...Dating Tips for Older Men
As a romance coach to thousands of singles across the nation, Paul A. Falzone, CEO of the world’s largest dating service, The Right One and Together Dating, as well as, online dating service eLove.com said, “These men are seeking to date 25 year old supermodels. It’s just unrealistic.”
One of the most important things for guys to remember is that they need to put their best foot forward. Falzone advises, “Take the blinders off. Look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. Do you need to make some improvements?”
He continued, “The biggest problem for older men is that they rarely see themselves in the same light as they appear to others. They may be overweight, sporting shaggy hair, chain smoke or have bad teeth and not think anything of it. To top it off, they may still view themselves as the high school football quarterback they may have once been and behave like teenagers as well. Then they pursue women who are 20 or more years younger. They really need to develop a sense of self-awareness.”
Falzone has written the playbook to help older men get back into the game:
Age is a relative number, and you’re only as old as you feel. Don’t let your appearance go just because you’ve turned 40 or 50. Take care of business. Get that haircut; make an appointment with the dentist; lose the beer belly…Whatever it takes to look your best.
Treat yourself well. This doesn’t mean overindulge in food and wine; it means find a hobby or activity that you like, that is fun and will get you in shape. This is one of the keys to looking younger.
Lose the unrealistic expectations and standards. Older men should do some mental housekeeping and focus on who they are in the present time and behave appropriately.
They should look for women around their age, or at least within 10 years of their age. Nowadays, many women in their 50s look 35 to 40 years old.
Determine whether you want a trophy gal or someone with whom you can really spend quality time. Conversation will be much more lively (and last longer than two minutes) with someone your own age. Older women will be able to share the same experiences and will probably have a lot more in common.
It’s no secret that women adore older men in their 40s or 50s who are super handsome and successful. But what if you’re an average guy without a great investment portfolio? Maybe divorced and paying alimony? And, instead of that sports car or Mercedes, you’re driving an affordable family sedan?
Falzone adds, “Women enjoy dating successful men, but they are also realistic; they know it’s not everything. Older men should concentrate on presenting their best self and having realistic expectations if they want to get off the bench.”
-Monday, April 23, 2007-
ARE YOU KIDDING...$100K FOR A DATE !!
Joining a dating service is as common as hiring a real estate broker to sell your house or using a headhunter to find a job. But, let’s be realistic, paying 100K to find your significant other is outlandish. The below article is a little long but is fascinating and perplexing…100K ???
For love and money
By Bella English, Globe Staff
Divorced Boston businessman in late 40s with beautiful home and lots of dough seeks single woman, mid to late 30s, for marriage and babies. Must be thin and possess classic good looks. He's a warm and cuddly guy who enjoys golf, sailing, and tennis. If interested, call his matchmaker at 212-987-1582.
That number belongs to Janis Spindel of Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking, emphasis on the serious. She's a woman on a mission: To find a wife for a client she calls "Jeremy," a Boston man who has hired her for $100,000.
The concept is familiar to viewers who have seen reality shows such as "The Bachelor": Wealthy man gets help finding soul mate, roster of women compete for his affections. But in this case, the rich guy is paying a princely sum, sort of like a company using a headhunter to find its next CEO.
In the 15 years she has been in the matchmaking business, Spindel claims responsibility for 760 marriages and "massive thousands in committed relationships." She speaks in hyperbole and italics, and tends to repeat her words for dramatic effect. "I'm dealing with gorgeous men -- gorgeous! -- who have it all, from billionaires in Bel Air to humongous movers and shakers in Washington to awesome guys in Boston. The only piece missing is a woman, and that's when they come to me."
Be very clear: This isn't about hooking up. It's about settling down. Nothing drives Spindel crazier than being called a dating service. "I am a matchmaker," she says. "A man can get dates on his own. I'm a little too expensive for that. And I don't deal with trophy wives. I'm looking to match soul mates."
Despite having had thousands of clients, Spindel says the closest she's come to failure are two men who took a dozen introductions each before they finally met their matches. "I have had men who didn't get married but are living with a woman or have had mini-relationships but not marriage," she says. Besides, there's only so much even the best matchmaker can do: "I can bring the horse to water but I can't make him drink if he wants Diet Coke." Usually by the third to sixth introduction, she says, the man is in a committed relationship, a process that can take anywhere from three weeks to eight months.
There is little Spindel won't do for love. In restaurants she'll bolt after an attractive woman headed for the bathroom. She has nabbed strangers on the street, in lobbies, elevators, and bars. Her first question is always the same: Are you single?
"I leave no stone unturned in finding a marriage match. I'm very New York, very Type A, very 24/7, a multitasker. I'm relentless, tenacious, and obnoxious," says Spindel, whose words fire fast and clipped, with a hint of Jersey to them. She calls matchmaking "the second oldest profession" and says she is a firm believer in marriage. Her parents recently celebrated their 65th anniversary, and she met her own husband 25 years ago. "Marriage is wonderful if you're married to the right person," says Spindel, who is 50.
In fact, she wrote a book about it: "Get Serious About Getting Married: 365 Proven Ways to Find Love in Less Than a Year." Though the book is for women, Spindel's business is geared toward men. "Women are too high maintenance," she says. "They're needy. They're nagging." As if on cue, her phone rings. She gets rid of the caller in a New York second.
"See what I mean? That was a woman I just met for coffee this morning."
Women pay $1,000 for a 30-minute consultation with her, or $500 to see one of her assistants. She'll waive the fee if you bring in five "attractive" girlfriends for a group consult. The women then enter her database of potential wives.
Pretty in red and pink
This labor of love operates out of a sunny studio apartment on Manhattan's upper east side, next to another apartment she shares with her husband, Allen, who teaches physical education and martial arts. They have two daughters, ages 21 and 8.
The studio is done in pinks and reds. There are heart-shape candles, frames and paper weights, Cupid napkins and books with titles like "Being Committed" and "Make Up, Don't Break Up." On a recent afternoon, candles are lit, giving off a vanilla scent. Disco, her frisky Shih Tzu , sports tiny red-and-pink ribbons on her ears.
Spindel is meticulously turned out in a black-and-white Chanel pantsuit, her naturally curly hair freshly blown out. "Men like long, straight hair," she says. And she's constantly going on breakfast, lunch, and dinner "dates" with her clients, to see how they act. The man must pick the restaurant and pay for the meal, over which he will be grilled like the rib eye on the menu. Spindel also notes how the men treat her: their manners, their sophistication -- or lack thereof. "I need to know they're a man with a plan," she says.
Her own plan includes various levels, from a $25,000 "basic" package that Spindel says takes her "five minutes" to match from her database of women to a $100,000 "elite" plan consisting of an out-of-town client and a casting call that can involve hundreds of women. Spindel has already met with Jeremy several times and sent him to an image consultant, who took him to Bergdorf Goodman, where he dropped $10,000 on clothes.
Now Jeremy is ready for the next step: the match. The woman must be from the Boston or Providence areas. ("He lives in Boston in a sick, awesome house," Spindel says. "Totally awesome.") The bachelorette search, as she calls it, will take place April 13-15 in a conference room at the Boston Marriott Copley Place; only those who made appointments with Spindel beforehand will be allowed in.
But the star of the show, Jeremy, will be nowhere in sight. Like her other clients, he won't be identified for an obvious reason: He doesn't want anyone to know he has resorted to this. "He would break out in hives, sweat, and bumps big time if people knew," she says.
Spindel's clients insist on anonymity. "He's funny, he's totally down to earth, he has the most magnificent home. He's a-DOR-able," she says, stressing the middle syllable. "He's a pretty public guy, big time in Boston. Everyone would know who he is."
So if he's so a-DOR-able -- not to mention rich -- why does he have to pay big bucks to find a woman? Is he a loser? Desperate?
Spindel shoots a killer look. "First of all, if he's a loser, I wouldn't be sitting across the table from him. And if he's desperate, I wouldn't be involved."
No, it's all about time, she says. These captains of industry are too busy to meet Ms. Right, so they hire her to screen candidates. Everyone outsources everything these days -- why not love?
"Men don't have the avenues to meet the women I meet," she says. "Men are intimidated by pretty women. They have a fear of rejection. I act as their legs, their eyes. I don't care how rich men are and how many billion-dollar companies they run. When it comes to their social lives, they're running to me. It's not that they're stupid. They're just clueless."
What do men want?
The women who want to meet Jeremy must go through a process similar to the one he went through. There's a phone interview, a written questionnaire, and photographs to submit. A candidate will learn more about Jeremy when and if Spindel thinks that person may be right for him.
Appointments at the Marriott audition will be made by Spindel and her assistants, who will meet each woman in 30-minute sessions and size her up. Each one pays a "processing fee" of $50, which includes a copy of Spindel's book.
She can be hard-nosed in rejecting women who, as she puts it, "don't take care of themselves." She adds: "Fat is out. We're not in Kansas or Iowa or Nebraska. We're in major metropolitan cities where people care about looks."
So what do men want? Is it all about looks? Are they that superficial?
Yes, says Spindel, they are.
"Men want perfection," she says. "They want women who are attractive, who are well-groomed, natural looking."
And thin. "Men have an allergy to fat. I don't care if they're short and bald with a belly. Women are much more open. They value intelligence, a sense of humor, and character." For her men, intellectual stimulation has been "really heavy duty" only in the past five years.
At the end of the Boston search, she'll compile a file on each woman and place them in three categories: A Strong Yes, Your Call, and No Way Jose. Together, she and Jeremy will choose a handful to call. She insists on follow-up phone debriefings after each date -- from the man and the woman -- and has been known to force reluctant clients on subsequent dates if she has a "sixth sense" about the match.
"If I have a woman in mind that he didn't pick, I'll say, 'Whoa, you need to meet her. This is the one you're going to marry.' If Jeremy says he had a nice time but he doesn't know if there's chemistry I say, 'Guess what? You're going out again.' "
At the moment, she says, she has two other Boston clients, who are 54 and 59, and she'll keep an eye out for wives for them, too, during the Marriott screening. Her message to local women: "If you're awesome, you better get your little tushy down to meet me."
True love bonus
Love has been very, very good to Spindel, who wears designer clothes and expensive jewelry, travels first class, and owns a house in the Hamptons. She wants her clients to marry not just because she believes in true love but also because she gets a bonus when they do. It's right there in her contract. Such gifts, she says, have ranged from $25,000 to a pink diamond from Harry Winston "like the one Ben gave Jen."
As for Jeremy, wife or no wife, he has already promised Spindel's family a first-class Christmas vacation anywhere in the world. She says that's a great deal for him. "He got away cheap -- for REAL!" she writes in a follow-up e-mail after the interview.
But one thing she has never gotten from a grateful client is an invitation to a wedding. She's hurt, but she understands. "Men are embarrassed by the fact they have to pay me."
-Thursday, April 12, 2007-
Off-line Dating vs. Online Dating
We're always preaching the benefits of old fashioned matchmaking compared to online dating …don’t just take our word for it…check out the article below from the San Jose Mercury News (By Elise Ackerman).
Engage.com is founded on the premise that online dating needs to be more like offline dating.
Rather than dates, its 200,000-plus members are encouraged to seek out matchmakers who have volunteered to act as digital yentas for single friends and even strangers.
The site's old-fashioned approach to courtship is one answer to the deep disappointment reported by large numbers of online daters.
In 2005, when Engage first launched, a survey by JupiterResearch found that only one in three online daters reported being "somewhat satisfied." Within two years, the research firm reported that the percent of Internet users who said they had browsed an online dating site had fallen by half - from 21 percent to 10 percent.
For some, it was the humiliation of sending dozens of carefully crafted e-mails to prospective partners and getting no reply. For others, particularly younger women, it was the dismay of opening an inbox full of inappropriate overtures from guys they considered too old or too sleazy.
For thousands of gullible lonely hearts, it was the pain of being scammed by con artists who traded tender e-mails for cashiers' checks and then disappeared.
"What we bring is a model that is more in keeping with what works offline," said Joelle Kaufman, vice president of experience at Engage, which is headquartered in San Mateo. "We don't go to bars and scan people's profiles, or take tests and expect someone to land on our doorstep. What we do is we go out with our friends."
People who sign up for Engage, which is free but might charge in the future, can identify themselves as daters, or matchmakers, or both. They are encouraged to invite friends to join and to vouch for them.
That's how Jason Daters, a happily married 35-year-old "sales guy" from San Francisco, ended up as a member of Engage. He invited all his single friends and has successfully found girlfriends for two of them.
Not surprisingly, his wife was more than a bit curious about what her husband was doing on a dating site, but in the end she ended up joining, too. The couple have since discovered that their vision of the perfect woman is decidedly different, Daters added.
Mark Brooks, editor of
Onlinepersonalswatch.com and an Internet dating consultant, said Engage addresses one weakness of the most popular dating sites, Yahoo Personals or Match.com, specifically the ability to involve one's friends in a budding romance.
Brooks said the chance of hooking up with a friend of a friend of a friend is one of the keys to the success of social networking sites like My-Space or Facebook. "The social networks are really the place where it is really happening," Brooks explained. One reason is because people can avoid the awkwardness of actually declaring they are single, but don't want to be.
Engage, on the other hand, allows fewer face-saving excuses. Indeed, some of Engage's features are specifically designed to turn off would-be "players" who populate other sites. For example, Engage encourages its members to rate one another on "responsiveness," "politeness" and whether a person is "true" to his or her profile.
"I love what they are doing, but it's going to take them awhile to be successful," Brooks said.
For singles who have been burned, however, the ratings are one way of making the site safer. Diane Green, a moderator at RomanceScams, a Yahoo group for deceived daters, said only two scammers have been reported operating on Engage, out of 4,000 scam reports in the group's database.
Vineet Buch, 35, a Silicon Valley venture capitalist who is generally not averse to risk, said the additional information and the participation of the matchmakers made the site feel warmer and fuzzier. "The world moves so fast nowadays that even a little shred of shared context goes a long way," he said. Buch said he recently met a woman that he really liked after being set up by a mutual acquaintance who was a matchmaker on the site.
Dimple Sahni, 34, a New York venture capitalist, also recently met someone she likes, through a random matchmaker who came across her profile and decided to introduce Sahni to a handsome 36-year-old technology entrepreneur.
But others who have tried Engage say they have encountered the same black-hole-style brush-off that has driven daters away from other sites.
Mike Murrow, a 33-year-old from Felton, has been chronicling his misadventures in online dating on his blog, "Contrary to Conventional Wisdom."
Murrow said Engage's matchmaker process sounded good but required friends who were extremely committed. "My friends have their own lives; they are not going to scan through the profiles."
Still, they did recommend him to a few women on Engage. The women didn't reply. Murrow believes the reason is that his pictures were crummy.
Murrow is now looking for love in more traditional places. "I keep coming back to women I already know," he said. Like a friend of a friend, who attends the same church.
His conclusion: The best kind of online dating is offline dating. No profiles. No pictures. No Internet connection required.
-Thursday, April 5, 2007-
Dangers of Online Dating
LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas (Reuters) - A fugitive wanted for a double homicide in Arkansas was arrested on the weekend in Wisconsin after he posted his name, picture and address on an online dating Web site, police said on Monday.
Calvin A. Bennett, 26, has been charged with two counts of murder in the killings of Pierce Odell, 79, and his wife, Mary, 78, who were found shot to death on October 30 outside their home in Nashville, Arkansas, about 125 miles southwest of the state capital Little Rock.
“He was taken into custody shortly before noon on Sunday, less than 12 hours after his picture was broadcast on (the television show) ‘America’s Most Wanted,’” said Bill Sadler, a spokesman for the Arkansas State Police.
Sadler said that people who had first seen his picture on the dating site had subsequently seen it on the popular television program.
On Monday Bennett was ordered held without bond in Wisconsin pending an extradition hearing on December 19. An affidavit submitted by the authorities said Bennett had confessed to killing the Odells during a botched burglary.
One of the messages on Bennett’s Web posting said he “liked to cuddle.”
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International, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
-Monday, April 23, 2007-
ARE YOU KIDDING...$100K FOR A DATE !!
Joining a dating service is as common as hiring a real estate broker to sell your house or using a headhunter to find a job. But, let’s be realistic, paying 100K to find your significant other is outlandish. The below article is a little long but is fascinating and perplexing…100K ???
For love and money
By Bella English, Globe Staff
Divorced Boston businessman in late 40s with beautiful home and lots of dough seeks single woman, mid to late 30s, for marriage and babies. Must be thin and possess classic good looks. He's a warm and cuddly guy who enjoys golf, sailing, and tennis. If interested, call his matchmaker at 212-987-1582.
That number belongs to Janis Spindel of Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking, emphasis on the serious. She's a woman on a mission: To find a wife for a client she calls "Jeremy," a Boston man who has hired her for $100,000.
The concept is familiar to viewers who have seen reality shows such as "The Bachelor": Wealthy man gets help finding soul mate, roster of women compete for his affections. But in this case, the rich guy is paying a princely sum, sort of like a company using a headhunter to find its next CEO.
In the 15 years she has been in the matchmaking business, Spindel claims responsibility for 760 marriages and "massive thousands in committed relationships." She speaks in hyperbole and italics, and tends to repeat her words for dramatic effect. "I'm dealing with gorgeous men -- gorgeous! -- who have it all, from billionaires in Bel Air to humongous movers and shakers in Washington to awesome guys in Boston. The only piece missing is a woman, and that's when they come to me."
Be very clear: This isn't about hooking up. It's about settling down. Nothing drives Spindel crazier than being called a dating service. "I am a matchmaker," she says. "A man can get dates on his own. I'm a little too expensive for that. And I don't deal with trophy wives. I'm looking to match soul mates."
Despite having had thousands of clients, Spindel says the closest she's come to failure are two men who took a dozen introductions each before they finally met their matches. "I have had men who didn't get married but are living with a woman or have had mini-relationships but not marriage," she says. Besides, there's only so much even the best matchmaker can do: "I can bring the horse to water but I can't make him drink if he wants Diet Coke." Usually by the third to sixth introduction, she says, the man is in a committed relationship, a process that can take anywhere from three weeks to eight months.
There is little Spindel won't do for love. In restaurants she'll bolt after an attractive woman headed for the bathroom. She has nabbed strangers on the street, in lobbies, elevators, and bars. Her first question is always the same: Are you single?
"I leave no stone unturned in finding a marriage match. I'm very New York, very Type A, very 24/7, a multitasker. I'm relentless, tenacious, and obnoxious," says Spindel, whose words fire fast and clipped, with a hint of Jersey to them. She calls matchmaking "the second oldest profession" and says she is a firm believer in marriage. Her parents recently celebrated their 65th anniversary, and she met her own husband 25 years ago. "Marriage is wonderful if you're married to the right person," says Spindel, who is 50.
In fact, she wrote a book about it: "Get Serious About Getting Married: 365 Proven Ways to Find Love in Less Than a Year." Though the book is for women, Spindel's business is geared toward men. "Women are too high maintenance," she says. "They're needy. They're nagging." As if on cue, her phone rings. She gets rid of the caller in a New York second.
"See what I mean? That was a woman I just met for coffee this morning."
Women pay $1,000 for a 30-minute consultation with her, or $500 to see one of her assistants. She'll waive the fee if you bring in five "attractive" girlfriends for a group consult. The women then enter her database of potential wives.
Pretty in red and pink
This labor of love operates out of a sunny studio apartment on Manhattan's upper east side, next to another apartment she shares with her husband, Allen, who teaches physical education and martial arts. They have two daughters, ages 21 and 8.
The studio is done in pinks and reds. There are heart-shape candles, frames and paper weights, Cupid napkins and books with titles like "Being Committed" and "Make Up, Don't Break Up." On a recent afternoon, candles are lit, giving off a vanilla scent. Disco, her frisky Shih Tzu , sports tiny red-and-pink ribbons on her ears.
Spindel is meticulously turned out in a black-and-white Chanel pantsuit, her naturally curly hair freshly blown out. "Men like long, straight hair," she says. And she's constantly going on breakfast, lunch, and dinner "dates" with her clients, to see how they act. The man must pick the restaurant and pay for the meal, over which he will be grilled like the rib eye on the menu. Spindel also notes how the men treat her: their manners, their sophistication -- or lack thereof. "I need to know they're a man with a plan," she says.
Her own plan includes various levels, from a $25,000 "basic" package that Spindel says takes her "five minutes" to match from her database of women to a $100,000 "elite" plan consisting of an out-of-town client and a casting call that can involve hundreds of women. Spindel has already met with Jeremy several times and sent him to an image consultant, who took him to Bergdorf Goodman, where he dropped $10,000 on clothes.
Now Jeremy is ready for the next step: the match. The woman must be from the Boston or Providence areas. ("He lives in Boston in a sick, awesome house," Spindel says. "Totally awesome.") The bachelorette search, as she calls it, will take place April 13-15 in a conference room at the Boston Marriott Copley Place; only those who made appointments with Spindel beforehand will be allowed in.
But the star of the show, Jeremy, will be nowhere in sight. Like her other clients, he won't be identified for an obvious reason: He doesn't want anyone to know he has resorted to this. "He would break out in hives, sweat, and bumps big time if people knew," she says.
Spindel's clients insist on anonymity. "He's funny, he's totally down to earth, he has the most magnificent home. He's a-DOR-able," she says, stressing the middle syllable. "He's a pretty public guy, big time in Boston. Everyone would know who he is."
So if he's so a-DOR-able -- not to mention rich -- why does he have to pay big bucks to find a woman? Is he a loser? Desperate?
Spindel shoots a killer look. "First of all, if he's a loser, I wouldn't be sitting across the table from him. And if he's desperate, I wouldn't be involved."
No, it's all about time, she says. These captains of industry are too busy to meet Ms. Right, so they hire her to screen candidates. Everyone outsources everything these days -- why not love?
"Men don't have the avenues to meet the women I meet," she says. "Men are intimidated by pretty women. They have a fear of rejection. I act as their legs, their eyes. I don't care how rich men are and how many billion-dollar companies they run. When it comes to their social lives, they're running to me. It's not that they're stupid. They're just clueless."
What do men want?
The women who want to meet Jeremy must go through a process similar to the one he went through. There's a phone interview, a written questionnaire, and photographs to submit. A candidate will learn more about Jeremy when and if Spindel thinks that person may be right for him.
Appointments at the Marriott audition will be made by Spindel and her assistants, who will meet each woman in 30-minute sessions and size her up. Each one pays a "processing fee" of $50, which includes a copy of Spindel's book.
She can be hard-nosed in rejecting women who, as she puts it, "don't take care of themselves." She adds: "Fat is out. We're not in Kansas or Iowa or Nebraska. We're in major metropolitan cities where people care about looks."
So what do men want? Is it all about looks? Are they that superficial?
Yes, says Spindel, they are.
"Men want perfection," she says. "They want women who are attractive, who are well-groomed, natural looking."
And thin. "Men have an allergy to fat. I don't care if they're short and bald with a belly. Women are much more open. They value intelligence, a sense of humor, and character." For her men, intellectual stimulation has been "really heavy duty" only in the past five years.
At the end of the Boston search, she'll compile a file on each woman and place them in three categories: A Strong Yes, Your Call, and No Way Jose. Together, she and Jeremy will choose a handful to call. She insists on follow-up phone debriefings after each date -- from the man and the woman -- and has been known to force reluctant clients on subsequent dates if she has a "sixth sense" about the match.
"If I have a woman in mind that he didn't pick, I'll say, 'Whoa, you need to meet her. This is the one you're going to marry.' If Jeremy says he had a nice time but he doesn't know if there's chemistry I say, 'Guess what? You're going out again.' "
At the moment, she says, she has two other Boston clients, who are 54 and 59, and she'll keep an eye out for wives for them, too, during the Marriott screening. Her message to local women: "If you're awesome, you better get your little tushy down to meet me."
True love bonus
Love has been very, very good to Spindel, who wears designer clothes and expensive jewelry, travels first class, and owns a house in the Hamptons. She wants her clients to marry not just because she believes in true love but also because she gets a bonus when they do. It's right there in her contract. Such gifts, she says, have ranged from $25,000 to a pink diamond from Harry Winston "like the one Ben gave Jen."
As for Jeremy, wife or no wife, he has already promised Spindel's family a first-class Christmas vacation anywhere in the world. She says that's a great deal for him. "He got away cheap -- for REAL!" she writes in a follow-up e-mail after the interview.
But one thing she has never gotten from a grateful client is an invitation to a wedding. She's hurt, but she understands. "Men are embarrassed by the fact they have to pay me."
-Thursday, April 12, 2007-
Off-line Dating vs. Online Dating
We're always preaching the benefits of old fashioned matchmaking compared to online dating …don’t just take our word for it…check out the article below from the San Jose Mercury News (By Elise Ackerman).
Engage.com is founded on the premise that online dating needs to be more like offline dating.
Rather than dates, its 200,000-plus members are encouraged to seek out matchmakers who have volunteered to act as digital yentas for single friends and even strangers.
The site's old-fashioned approach to courtship is one answer to the deep disappointment reported by large numbers of online daters.
In 2005, when Engage first launched, a survey by JupiterResearch found that only one in three online daters reported being "somewhat satisfied." Within two years, the research firm reported that the percent of Internet users who said they had browsed an online dating site had fallen by half - from 21 percent to 10 percent.
For some, it was the humiliation of sending dozens of carefully crafted e-mails to prospective partners and getting no reply. For others, particularly younger women, it was the dismay of opening an inbox full of inappropriate overtures from guys they considered too old or too sleazy.
For thousands of gullible lonely hearts, it was the pain of being scammed by con artists who traded tender e-mails for cashiers' checks and then disappeared.
"What we bring is a model that is more in keeping with what works offline," said Joelle Kaufman, vice president of experience at Engage, which is headquartered in San Mateo. "We don't go to bars and scan people's profiles, or take tests and expect someone to land on our doorstep. What we do is we go out with our friends."
People who sign up for Engage, which is free but might charge in the future, can identify themselves as daters, or matchmakers, or both. They are encouraged to invite friends to join and to vouch for them.
That's how Jason Daters, a happily married 35-year-old "sales guy" from San Francisco, ended up as a member of Engage. He invited all his single friends and has successfully found girlfriends for two of them.
Not surprisingly, his wife was more than a bit curious about what her husband was doing on a dating site, but in the end she ended up joining, too. The couple have since discovered that their vision of the perfect woman is decidedly different, Daters added.
Mark Brooks, editor of
Onlinepersonalswatch.com and an Internet dating consultant, said Engage addresses one weakness of the most popular dating sites, Yahoo Personals or Match.com, specifically the ability to involve one's friends in a budding romance.
Brooks said the chance of hooking up with a friend of a friend of a friend is one of the keys to the success of social networking sites like My-Space or Facebook. "The social networks are really the place where it is really happening," Brooks explained. One reason is because people can avoid the awkwardness of actually declaring they are single, but don't want to be.
Engage, on the other hand, allows fewer face-saving excuses. Indeed, some of Engage's features are specifically designed to turn off would-be "players" who populate other sites. For example, Engage encourages its members to rate one another on "responsiveness," "politeness" and whether a person is "true" to his or her profile.
"I love what they are doing, but it's going to take them awhile to be successful," Brooks said.
For singles who have been burned, however, the ratings are one way of making the site safer. Diane Green, a moderator at RomanceScams, a Yahoo group for deceived daters, said only two scammers have been reported operating on Engage, out of 4,000 scam reports in the group's database.
Vineet Buch, 35, a Silicon Valley venture capitalist who is generally not averse to risk, said the additional information and the participation of the matchmakers made the site feel warmer and fuzzier. "The world moves so fast nowadays that even a little shred of shared context goes a long way," he said. Buch said he recently met a woman that he really liked after being set up by a mutual acquaintance who was a matchmaker on the site.
Dimple Sahni, 34, a New York venture capitalist, also recently met someone she likes, through a random matchmaker who came across her profile and decided to introduce Sahni to a handsome 36-year-old technology entrepreneur.
But others who have tried Engage say they have encountered the same black-hole-style brush-off that has driven daters away from other sites.
Mike Murrow, a 33-year-old from Felton, has been chronicling his misadventures in online dating on his blog, "Contrary to Conventional Wisdom."
Murrow said Engage's matchmaker process sounded good but required friends who were extremely committed. "My friends have their own lives; they are not going to scan through the profiles."
Still, they did recommend him to a few women on Engage. The women didn't reply. Murrow believes the reason is that his pictures were crummy.
Murrow is now looking for love in more traditional places. "I keep coming back to women I already know," he said. Like a friend of a friend, who attends the same church.
His conclusion: The best kind of online dating is offline dating. No profiles. No pictures. No Internet connection required.
-Thursday, April 5, 2007-
Dangers of Online Dating
LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas (Reuters) - A fugitive wanted for a double homicide in Arkansas was arrested on the weekend in Wisconsin after he posted his name, picture and address on an online dating Web site, police said on Monday.
Calvin A. Bennett, 26, has been charged with two counts of murder in the killings of Pierce Odell, 79, and his wife, Mary, 78, who were found shot to death on October 30 outside their home in Nashville, Arkansas, about 125 miles southwest of the state capital Little Rock.
“He was taken into custody shortly before noon on Sunday, less than 12 hours after his picture was broadcast on (the television show) ‘America’s Most Wanted,’” said Bill Sadler, a spokesman for the Arkansas State Police.
Sadler said that people who had first seen his picture on the dating site had subsequently seen it on the popular television program.
On Monday Bennett was ordered held without bond in Wisconsin pending an extradition hearing on December 19. An affidavit submitted by the authorities said Bennett had confessed to killing the Odells during a botched burglary.
One of the messages on Bennett’s Web posting said he “liked to cuddle.”
Contact | Privacy
Statement | Sitemap. Copyright© 2007, Pafco
International, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
-Thursday, April 12, 2007-
Off-line Dating vs. Online Dating
We're always preaching the benefits of old fashioned matchmaking compared to online dating …don’t just take our word for it…check out the article below from the San Jose Mercury News (By Elise Ackerman).
Engage.com is founded on the premise that online dating needs to be more like offline dating.
Rather than dates, its 200,000-plus members are encouraged to seek out matchmakers who have volunteered to act as digital yentas for single friends and even strangers.
The site's old-fashioned approach to courtship is one answer to the deep disappointment reported by large numbers of online daters.
In 2005, when Engage first launched, a survey by JupiterResearch found that only one in three online daters reported being "somewhat satisfied." Within two years, the research firm reported that the percent of Internet users who said they had browsed an online dating site had fallen by half - from 21 percent to 10 percent.
For some, it was the humiliation of sending dozens of carefully crafted e-mails to prospective partners and getting no reply. For others, particularly younger women, it was the dismay of opening an inbox full of inappropriate overtures from guys they considered too old or too sleazy.
For thousands of gullible lonely hearts, it was the pain of being scammed by con artists who traded tender e-mails for cashiers' checks and then disappeared.
"What we bring is a model that is more in keeping with what works offline," said Joelle Kaufman, vice president of experience at Engage, which is headquartered in San Mateo. "We don't go to bars and scan people's profiles, or take tests and expect someone to land on our doorstep. What we do is we go out with our friends."
People who sign up for Engage, which is free but might charge in the future, can identify themselves as daters, or matchmakers, or both. They are encouraged to invite friends to join and to vouch for them.
That's how Jason Daters, a happily married 35-year-old "sales guy" from San Francisco, ended up as a member of Engage. He invited all his single friends and has successfully found girlfriends for two of them.
Not surprisingly, his wife was more than a bit curious about what her husband was doing on a dating site, but in the end she ended up joining, too. The couple have since discovered that their vision of the perfect woman is decidedly different, Daters added.
Mark Brooks, editor of
Onlinepersonalswatch.com and an Internet dating consultant, said Engage addresses one weakness of the most popular dating sites, Yahoo Personals or Match.com, specifically the ability to involve one's friends in a budding romance.
Brooks said the chance of hooking up with a friend of a friend of a friend is one of the keys to the success of social networking sites like My-Space or Facebook. "The social networks are really the place where it is really happening," Brooks explained. One reason is because people can avoid the awkwardness of actually declaring they are single, but don't want to be.
Engage, on the other hand, allows fewer face-saving excuses. Indeed, some of Engage's features are specifically designed to turn off would-be "players" who populate other sites. For example, Engage encourages its members to rate one another on "responsiveness," "politeness" and whether a person is "true" to his or her profile.
"I love what they are doing, but it's going to take them awhile to be successful," Brooks said.
For singles who have been burned, however, the ratings are one way of making the site safer. Diane Green, a moderator at RomanceScams, a Yahoo group for deceived daters, said only two scammers have been reported operating on Engage, out of 4,000 scam reports in the group's database.
Vineet Buch, 35, a Silicon Valley venture capitalist who is generally not averse to risk, said the additional information and the participation of the matchmakers made the site feel warmer and fuzzier. "The world moves so fast nowadays that even a little shred of shared context goes a long way," he said. Buch said he recently met a woman that he really liked after being set up by a mutual acquaintance who was a matchmaker on the site.
Dimple Sahni, 34, a New York venture capitalist, also recently met someone she likes, through a random matchmaker who came across her profile and decided to introduce Sahni to a handsome 36-year-old technology entrepreneur.
But others who have tried Engage say they have encountered the same black-hole-style brush-off that has driven daters away from other sites.
Mike Murrow, a 33-year-old from Felton, has been chronicling his misadventures in online dating on his blog, "Contrary to Conventional Wisdom."
Murrow said Engage's matchmaker process sounded good but required friends who were extremely committed. "My friends have their own lives; they are not going to scan through the profiles."
Still, they did recommend him to a few women on Engage. The women didn't reply. Murrow believes the reason is that his pictures were crummy.
Murrow is now looking for love in more traditional places. "I keep coming back to women I already know," he said. Like a friend of a friend, who attends the same church.
His conclusion: The best kind of online dating is offline dating. No profiles. No pictures. No Internet connection required.
-Thursday, April 5, 2007-
Dangers of Online Dating
LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas (Reuters) - A fugitive wanted for a double homicide in Arkansas was arrested on the weekend in Wisconsin after he posted his name, picture and address on an online dating Web site, police said on Monday.
Calvin A. Bennett, 26, has been charged with two counts of murder in the killings of Pierce Odell, 79, and his wife, Mary, 78, who were found shot to death on October 30 outside their home in Nashville, Arkansas, about 125 miles southwest of the state capital Little Rock.
“He was taken into custody shortly before noon on Sunday, less than 12 hours after his picture was broadcast on (the television show) ‘America’s Most Wanted,’” said Bill Sadler, a spokesman for the Arkansas State Police.
Sadler said that people who had first seen his picture on the dating site had subsequently seen it on the popular television program.
On Monday Bennett was ordered held without bond in Wisconsin pending an extradition hearing on December 19. An affidavit submitted by the authorities said Bennett had confessed to killing the Odells during a botched burglary.
One of the messages on Bennett’s Web posting said he “liked to cuddle.”
Contact | Privacy
Statement | Sitemap. Copyright© 2007, Pafco
International, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
-Thursday, April 5, 2007-
Dangers of Online Dating
LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas (Reuters) - A fugitive wanted for a double homicide in Arkansas was arrested on the weekend in Wisconsin after he posted his name, picture and address on an online dating Web site, police said on Monday.
Calvin A. Bennett, 26, has been charged with two counts of murder in the killings of Pierce Odell, 79, and his wife, Mary, 78, who were found shot to death on October 30 outside their home in Nashville, Arkansas, about 125 miles southwest of the state capital Little Rock.
“He was taken into custody shortly before noon on Sunday, less than 12 hours after his picture was broadcast on (the television show) ‘America’s Most Wanted,’” said Bill Sadler, a spokesman for the Arkansas State Police.
Sadler said that people who had first seen his picture on the dating site had subsequently seen it on the popular television program.
On Monday Bennett was ordered held without bond in Wisconsin pending an extradition hearing on December 19. An affidavit submitted by the authorities said Bennett had confessed to killing the Odells during a botched burglary.
One of the messages on Bennett’s Web posting said he “liked to cuddle.”